This was my entry to an Alternative National Anthem Competition held by the Irish Times in April of this year. So raise your tankards and sing along in honour of the wonderful state our country is in, and how it has been brought there.
lyrics
YET ANOTHER NATIONAL ANTHEM
The streets are a-bubblin’ with urine in Dublin
as I’m stumblin’ home to my bed
These rivers of Guinnesses shrivel our penises,
soon we will be intravenously fed
And sagely Saint Patrick explained with a hat-trick
and made us all good Catholic men
But bishops are blameless, their sermons are shameless,
the victims are nameless to them
Oh my oh my
If it weren’t so funny I would cry
In jaw-dropping ignorance we distrust immigrants,
haven’t a thing against them per se
As long as you stay in your homes far away,
living poor in your wars dying after day after day
How quickly forgotten how we were once trod on
when we were the foreigners feared
Our long diaspora still means there are more of us
living abroad than are here
Oh my oh my
If it weren’t so funny I would cry
And the liars in Dail Eireann make statements so glaring
while blatantly sharing their bills
With friends and well-wishers, and culchie ass-kissers
who back them suspiciously still
And countless brown envelopes approve developments,
no talk of elephants in the room
If only tribunals were careerist funerals,
but they’ll live to ruin us again quite soon
Oh my oh my
If it weren’t so funny I would cry
I would cry I would cry I would cry
credits
from The Absolute State of the Nation,
track released March 17, 2010
Colm Hall: guitar, glockenspiel, vocals
Ciaran McCreary, drums
PJ Healy: backing vocals
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